The Story Behind The Crypt
In truth, forming a rock band is remarkably simple! All you need is a crypt, the remains of legendary musicians, and a touch of black magic. Assist Joe in reviving genuine stars and become a true tycoon!
Music Lover from the Cemetery
Joe adored music to an intoxicating degree, especially rock and metal. He spent endless hours immersed in the creations of his favorite musicians, deriving immense pleasure from every note emanating from his headphones or the speakers of his stereo system.
Oh, the equipment he had at home was simply astounding! You might wonder, isn’t such lavish apparatus excessive for a cemetery caretaker? And you would be correct. Joe spent an entire year paying off the credit for it. It seemed he had to economize on everything, even on drinks and women. However, he certainly had a whole cemetery’s worth of ladies… though that is quite another story!
The Dead Rockers
One day, Joe resolved to assemble his own rock band. Naturally, he did not intend to recruit his buddies, as that would have spelled immediate doom. Joe sought genuine stars.
Of course, none of the living legends in the music world would associate with the hero of our tale. At best, they would offer an autograph and disappear hastily. But who speaks of the living? Joe intended to establish a band composed of the deceased.
The King Has Died, But Only Temporarily
Thus, the “producer” began gathering his ensemble. First, he traveled to the cemetery where Elvis Presley was buried.
Under cover of night, Joe made a deal with a colleague, offering fifty dollars and a bottle of fine whiskey, rendering the caretaker deaf and mute. The “producer” then calmly exhumed the body of the King of Rock and Roll, loaded it into his vehicle, and transported it to his estate.
More Stars Are Needed…
Joe placed Elvis’s legendary remains in a crypt belonging to some wealthy figure from a distant past. No one had visited it for many years, making it clear that either everyone had forgotten the deceased or there was simply no one left to visit— one of the two, though the exact reason was irrelevant.
Naturally, Elvis Presley was an unmatched musician, but one man does not make a band, no matter how talented. Someone needed to play…
It Seems Everyone Is Assembled
Joe continued gathering deceased stars across the country. He visited five more cemeteries before finding those he wished to include in his musical troupe.
Altogether, six members were assembled, including old Elvis. The entire group rested in that very crypt, awaiting their moment.
Do not assume Joe to be a complete fool! Of course, he knew that the dead could neither sing nor play. Joe aimed to resurrect all the stars he had collected…
The Grave Robber
Occasionally, Joe worked a side job. That is, he would grab a shovel, unearth a grave untouched for about a century, and then shamelessly loot its occupant. However, the occupant had little cause to object, as the dead cared nothing for the affairs of the living world.
One fine night, Joe uncovered the grave of a certain lady. After prying open the coffin, he found neither old coins nor gold, but a book. Judging by the pentagram on its cover, it was certainly no bedtime fairy tale.
Joe read the discovered book from the very first page to the last line. It was about black magic! Among other spells, he found a ritual for bringing the dead back to life.
Necromancy Awaits Its Champions
However, this rite required at least two participants. You see, one to hold this, another to mark with blood here, and yet another to move something over there… Joe needed an assistant.
If the ritual succeeded, you would receive a share of the band’s profits. Joe had already conceived a name: “The Damn Revenants.” So, let us resurrect Elvis and his entourage!
